Baby Girl

This will probably be my last post for about a week, as we're leaving tomorrow to head up to PA. Not sure what all we'll get into up there, but I do know that Thursday, I'll be heading to Hershey Medical Center for my appointment. Please keep me/us in your prayers as we go thru another doc's appointment.... who knows, mayber they'll find something up there that's been missed in the past.

Big Decision

This morning I made a huge decision.... since I'm not getting any better that I can tell, and I'm constantly having to call in sick for work, I called this morning and had them take me out of service. This probably doesn't make much sense to most of you, but it's basically like being laid off.... only it's for medical reasons, so it's not quite as bad as it sounds.... but it's also something I wish I didn't have to do. What this means is I can draw sick benefits, which pays a set amount of money each day, and this will probably add up to more than I'm making just working a couple days here and there. I won't lose any seniority or anything, it's just when I'm better, I'll have to go thru the medical department to get put back in service. It was a tough decision, but something that kept popping up in my mind that maybe I should go ahead and do it. So now I just ask that you'll continue to pray that my doctors will be able to figure something out and I'll be able to be back and working regularly soon!

Pic of the Day, and a little update.

I should mention that some of my shots you may have seen already, depending on whether you've viewed my facebook or flickr pages.... so apologies for posting reruns if you've already seen them.

A bit of an update.... today I went to see an opthalmologist to have my eyes checked. I had my regular eye exam back in December, but I wanted to make sure that everything looked OK, since sometimes my headaches get worse as I'm driving, and other assorted duties. Of course, everything looks fine.... nothing wrong with my eyes.

When I got home today, I had a letter from Penn State's Hershey Medical Center in PA, reminding me that I had an appointment on June 5th with them. Ummmm what??? Some of you may remember that this was one of my first choices to go to, but they are pretty selective about who they take in, so after I went to UVA, I kinda forgot about them. But it seems as though they've looked over my files and have decided to see me, now the question is, do I go ahead and go up there as well as see my doc at UVA or what??? The thing that's got me leaning towards going is that Stephanie, Mia and myself were going to be in PA the beginning of next week, so I would be up there..... that's a wild coincedence, or it's God telling me to stay a couple extra days and go to Hershey. I'd love to hear y'alls opinions about whether I should keep the appt. or cancel it. I'm still planning on having the spinal tap at UVA on the 23rd.....

Hit that comment link or shoot me an e-mail with your thoughts.

Train Watching

I've decided that since I don't always have enough to say each and every day to warrant typing out a blog entry, I may jump on the wagon and post just a picture or 2 when there aren't really any updates......

Memorial Day Funtivities

Some people call me Chris, others call me ToT, but you can call me the Train Station....

Ahhh holidays.... paid holidays.... feels nice to be at home or wherever, spending time with the fam, and knowing that you're getting paid to do it. Feels good to me anyways.... I'll take free money just about any time I can get it.

Anyhoo, it had been the plan since about Thursday or Friday of last week, that today (since we were all off from work) that we were going to do a little outing. The choices were to either go to Natural Bridge to the Safari Park, or go to the N.C. Zoo in Asheboro..... we decided on Asheboro, but as the day drew nearer, family members started dropping out for various reasons, so it was just going to be Stephanie, Mia and myself going. So the plan was to get up early and head down to the zoo, getting there not long after it opened.... well needless to say, as we're not morning people, this didn't happen.... at all.... we decided not to go.

Mommy and Mia stop for a rest on the tiger sculpture

But as the morning wasted away, we decided we needed to get out of the house and do something fun, so we decided to head to the Mill Mountain Zoo in Roanoke. It was a good trip all in all, although it didn't provide for great pictures because of the cages surrounding the animals.... I mean sure, they have to be in cages, but I guess I was used to the NC Zoo and how the animals have lots of room to roam around, and you can get pretty good shots of whatever you want. Also, just so I can get this out... admission to the MM Zoo is $7.12.... what a weird price right??? Sorry, just needed to say that one more time today.

Self portrait in the fun-house style mirror.... freak....

Stephanie and Mia rode the Zoo Choo.... you can see them on the next to rear car.... they wouldn't let me drive....and yes, I did actually ask if I could.... I mean come on! I can drive the real thing, why not the mini-loco????

So anyways, we had a good time and I got some pretty cool shots, although mostly of stuff that isn't an animal....

Also I might mention that it was HOTTER than Hades today walking around.... which is why when we got home we put Mia in her bathing suit and let her jump into her pool for the first time..... she loved it! My little girl is growing up! yipes! Next thing you know I'll be sitting and cleaning my shotgun as her first little boyfriend comes to pick her up for a date.....

Yet Another Change

Well I'm not gonna lie, the past several days have been rough.... I was headache free on Friday, down on Sat and Sun. with pretty bad ones, again with headaches on Mon, Tues and today, although I did make it thru work today.... So anyways, as I'm sitting at work this morning my boss comes down to the shanty (yes, a shanty... it's what we call it) and says hey to the workers... as he's leaving he says "ToT, (that's what they call me at work) come by my office this evening when you get off and talk to me." sonofa.... i know what it's about, it's gonna be about my work record.... and I won't BS ya, it's a bad work record. So I promptly call Stephanie and have her call UVA and find out what the deal is with them. Well, after searching thru the computer and not finding anything, finally they come across my file and yeah, I'm scheduled to have a spinal tap on June 23rd.... Thanks for calling me UVA!

Anyways, so this evening rolls around and I go to meet with my boss. He asks me how things are going headache wise and I tell him the truth.... still every day. Luckily I have a nice boss who's working with me thru all this, I had been keeping him updated on my situation in the past, but since much hadn't changed, I had kinda slacked off.... anyways, he just wanted me to bring in some doctor's notes and what not so he'd have something to show for my absences. Here I was, pretty much thinking all day that I was going to be taken out of service for who knows how long.... but thank God it went a lot better than that. Although to be honest, it would almost be better for me/my family if I was taken out of service, because then I could claim sick benefits/unemployment and would actually make more than I'm making now by only working a couple of days a week(if that many).

So that's the latest.... I'm still trusting God to heal me, I just think I should also bring the doctors in on all this and see what we can find out..... especially since it's easier to get a doctor's note than a God's note.

You can continue to pray for wisdom and insight for my doctors and also that I make wise decisions in all that I do.

The First Days

So Friday, it became official..... No call back from UVA, and no medicines.... or I should say, less medicines than usual. There are some pills that I still need to take for things other than my headaches.... my thyroid meds for instance, yeah, I only have one side of my thyroid.....

Well my first day went great.... Made it to work on Friday, and amazingly stayed headache free the entire day.... the next few days however were completely different. I missed work Saturday and Sunday because of waking up with headaches, and then today I'm off from work, and awoke with a pretty bad headache as well. So we'll just have to see how my days continue to go..... I know relief won't be instant, and I still trust God to heal me in time.

As usual this photo has nothing to do with my post, I just took it the other day and now I wonder what my neighbors must think when they see me wandering around our yard with no less than 3 different cameras hanging off around my arms and neck.... psycho....

Some Answers

So I decided to take a moment to answer a few questions from my friend Michelle, as some of you may have been wondering the same things.

1. What brought on the decision to stop my medicines and say "EH EH!" to UVA?? Mainly it's because it's been almost a month since they "started to paperwork for the spinal tap" and I've yet to hear anything from them. I've called back twice (once a week for the past couple weeks) and have been told both times "Nothing's showing in the computer, let me check into it and we'll get back to you." I've yet to hear anything from them. So my thinking is, maybe this procedure is one I'm not supposed to have.... maybe that's why they haven't called back. I've been praying very specifically to God that if I'm supposed to have this procedure done, and stay on the course that I'm on now, that they will call back by tomorrow(Friday). If I hear nothing, then I'll know it's not something that I will pursue further. I trust God completely in this matter, and I put this in His hands.

B. What does my PCP (Dr. Dums) think about all this? Well, I should be talking to Rob today as I left a message for him to call me back. This will be the first time I have discussed this matter with him.... although I'm pretty confident, as Rob is a good friend of mine, as well as a faithful Christian, that he will back my decision. I will let you know if he says otherwise.

D. How does Stephanie feel about this decision? Stephanie, as well as my family have my back on this decision. We all know that God has everything in His hands, and he can work miracles.

Obviously the medicines haven't worked as I'm still suffering every day, so it's time to look elsewhere. Now I don't want this to sound like I haven't been trusting in God the whole time. I pray for healing every day, and I believe that He will heal me..... I just think that maybe I've been putting too much faith into a little pill, instead of saying "OK God, this isn't working.... here, you take it." And maybe that's why I'm still hurting, maybe He's using this to tell me "Chris, quit trying to fix this on your own.... trust me!"

And that my friends, is my plan.... any more questions that you may have, hit me up, I'll be happy to answer.

And while I'm typing, it's just come up that we've lost a dear member of our family. We've learned that my sister Angie and bro-in-law have lost one of their cats this morning... T.C. (short for too cute) has passed on. They have 2 cats, T.C. and Diesel who are very dear to them.... like kids even.... so this is a pretty tough time for them. Those of you with pets can relate. I ask that you'll keep them in your prayers as they go thru this time...

A Decision

Ok, so I've decided to make a huge decision regarding my headaches. I have still yet to hear back from UVA in reference to my spinal tap procedure, so I have decided to give them till the end of this week, in which case if they call, fine, but if not I'm going to call them and tell them to forget about it, and I'm giving the whole situation to God. Now this is either going to be a great decision (something that I should have done long ago) or a greatly stupid decision (meaning that UVA was put in my life for a reason). So I'm asking that you guys and gals pray that I'm making a smart call by doing this.

I will still stay on my medicines, aside from the twice daily dose of Aleve... and I'm going to go back on a (very) limited intake of caffeine. Not the before 4 times normal amount I was on.

Anyways, comments are welcome.... let me know what you think of this plan. Oh, and the flower pics have nothing to do with anything.... just sharing some of my faves.

Catching Up?

So it seems as though I've been tagged, or something, so I guess I'll go ahead and fill in my answers to this thing....

4 Jobs I have had:
Well, I've only had 4 jobs actually, 2 involving fast food chains...
McDonalds
Dairy Queen
Carilion Accounts Payable, Data Entry
Railroad conductor/engineer

4 TV shows I can't miss:
Lost
CSI
Mythbusters
Ghost Hunters.... yep, I like shows about ghosts.

and I'm gonna add, 2 more, because I can.... Family Guy, and The Office

4 People who e mail me regularly:
My sisters Angie and Donna
The Selents (Michelle mainly)
and ummm....

4 Places I've been: not many out of the country
Jamaica
Cozumel Mexico
Key West, FL
NYC

4 Favorite Foods:
Hamburgers
Chicken(pretty much any kind)
Cheesecake
Chinese.... love me some General Tso's Chicken!

4 places I would like to visit:
Italy
Greece
West Coast of the U.S.
Japan

4 things I am looking forward to:
Mia turning 1 year old
The summer
more days headache free
taking pictures

4 tags:
I refuse to tag anyone

As for an update, this Sunday I had my first headache free day in who knows how long. Praise God! Sure it was only a day, as Monday and today I had headaches, but I'll take what I can get... I know it's only a matter of time before I'm healed completely.

The Weekend

Well, it's been a pretty fun filled weekend so far, with more festivities to come tomorrow.... don't forget that it's mother's day. Be sure to let your mom, and the mother of your child(ren) know how much they mean to you. I can't even begin to express how much I appreciate my mom and Stephanie..... without these two women in my life, where would I be? It's scary to even think about....

So anyways, on to the weekend.... it started last night as we met up with some friends (we missed you Selents!) at Oddfella's Cantina in Floyd. I might just add, Floyd is a great little town, county, etc... awesome country scenery driving up, and just a happening lil town, especially on Friday nights... Great food, great times.... a lil pricey, but nonetheless awesome.

Then today.... well let me start off by saying that I was off from work yesterday, sick as usual.... so I called back yesterday evening to "mark up" and make myself available so I could work this morning. Well I get to work this morning, and look in the computer, and they're still showing me on the off list, with someone else filling my job.... so I turned around and came back to Rocky Mount, where Stephanie, my mom and my sister Angie were having a yard sale at Angie's house. We sold a lot of stuff, made $231.20 (that's just what Stephanie and I made) While we're there, we proceeded to take breaks to play Wii..... Now, if you've never played Wii before, find a friend that has one and go play.... it's quite possibly the greatest thing ever.... right after cameras... haha Anyways, my mom and dad had a BLAST playing (dad kicked our tails in bowling), so this evening we decided to go in halves and buy a Wii for here.... luckily Walmart in FC had some in stock. So we've been playing that ALL evening.... still losing to dad everytime. And we also did the Wii fitness thing, that, judging by how well you do on certain games, gives you an age.... my fitness age was 33, dad was 47, mom was 68(her actual age) and Stephanie... haha... was 61! hahahahaha sorry, too funny....

Anyhoo, tomorrow the plan goes as this... work 8-4ish.... come home, cookout with the fam at the pond, with fishing and beanbag battle(aka cornholing).... pics will come later in the week.

Enjoy your Mother's Day moms!

Tax Relief $$

So, I'm sure I won't be the first or last to say this, but I was totally fooled into thinking I was gonna get a bigger check than we got. Our tax relief money is showing in our account now, and I thought we were gonna get $1500($1200 as a couple, and $300 for Mia).... but as it turns out, that was the maximum you could receive.... we got $970. Now I'm not complaining mind you, because we can definitely use that money in many ways, I'm just saying I thought it was gonna be about $600 more than that. Good thing I didn't run out and spend it in anticipation of receiving the full amount. That is all.... that's my vent for today.

Soooo....

All I can say, is thank God for spring. The last few days have been wonderful.... not headache free mind you, but still wonderful. I changed jobs at work, so my new "weekend" is Mon and Tues. working all 1st shift, 8-4ish.....

Yesterday we had a chance to get out and play in the grass some with Mia, and also went up to the pond and cooked out, and did some fishing. Stephanie and I both caught some biiiiig catfish, and although she narrowly beat me on "biggest" catch of the day, I totally won in most catches of the day racking up a bass, a crappy, and 3 catfish. Next time we're thinking we might catch our dinner.... but usually when we plan that, we end up catching squat, and have to drive into town to get food..... so we'll see how it goes.

As for updates involving the headache situation, there hasn't been much change. Still having them daily.... still waiting on UVA to let me know when the spinal tap is. I called them last week, and this week asking for information, and both instances I get the same reply, "We'll check into it and call you back." But they never call back. I am seriously thinking of saying "To heck with UVA and medicines" and just giving it all to God. Which maybe that's what I'm supposed to do, maybe that's why there's no phone call back.... but that's a situation that I really need to pray about. I have that thought one minute, and then my next thought is, "well, maybe these doctors and tests and everything are God's solution" So who knows which is the way to go.... if any of you have special insight that I may be lacking, your comments are very welcome here.

Anyways, enjoy the pictures.... they should be pretty self-explanatory....

Saturday....

Well, for those of you who may have been wondering, yes, I did finish my to-do list over my days off.... from balancing the checkbook, to making it to Radford and also finishing off my rolls of film.... of which I had varied results.... Here are some shots from the different cameras I used.

This is from my Zeiss Ikoflex TLR, medium format camera. Had a few out of 12 shots that I was pretty happy with.

This is from a roll of 35mm film that I ran thru my Holga, which is a 120 film camera, so the image was exposed over the entire film sprocket holes and all, not just what you'd normally get when putting it thru a 35mm camera. Unfortunately, I didn't have the camera sealed as well as I thought, which resulted in some major light leaks over the entire roll of film (the red color you see here). You live, you learn.

This last one I took with my mom's old Canon AE-1 35mm camera. This is probably the best shot I've taken with that camera since I started experimenting with it.


As I may have mentioned before, my devotional for everyday comes from a book called " One Year Through the Bible". I thought I would share today's reading, "The Waiting Game" with you, as I feel anyone can relate to it... whether you're waiting for healing (me) or going thru the adoption process (The Selents, The Peggs) or whatever you're going through in your life. So here it is... The Scripture comes from Psalms 25:1-28:9



Preview

Waiting can feel like torture when you're afraid. David wrote Psalm 27 at a time when he was terribly afraid, but he didn't panic. Instead, he called upon the Lord and pleaded his case before him. Then he waited patiently for the Lord to rescue him. Any scared person knows that fear can cause people to make hasty, unwise decisions, and cause them to act before they're ready. Fear can make people impatient and reckless. As you read this psalm, learn from David's example about taking your fears to God.

The three other psalms in this reading also have something to say about times of fear: when you're afraid of losing your honor (Psalm 25); your reputation (Psalm 26); or even your life (Psalm 28).



Personal Application

David's men wanted him to kill Saul. David knew that it was not his job-- the fulfillment of God's promise would come about in God's own timing. So David placed his trust in God and waited for the Lord, despite his fear (Psalm 27:14). As it turns out, David had to wait fourteen years before being crowned king.

Waiting for God takes effort. It may seem as though God has refused to answer our prayers or doesn't feel the urgency of our situation. But God knows much more than we do. Lamentations 3:24-26 urges us to hope in and wait for the Lord because often God uses waiting to refresh, renew, and teach us.

David trusted God to do what was right. Trust in God's timing and make use of your times of waiting by discovering what God may be trying to teach you.





Sorry for the long post, but I just wanted to share that with you all. It talked to me because often times I wonder, why haven't I been healed? why am I still in pain? but it's not up for me to know, I just need to trust in God and know that His healing will come. Mercy will find her home, as will Mazey. It's all out of our hands.... it's all in God's timing. He's using this time to make us stronger, and he wants us to rely on Him and to put our trust in Him.